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Sometimes it’s the smallest, most insignificant, or admittedly the most tedious detail about a person that can tell you so much about them. Either that or you fall off in the midst of these existing new discoveries, never to discover the strange or unexpected. Or more likely the damn right uninteresting. Alas, whatever your take, I will share the legit “10 Things You Really Didn’t Need to Know About Me” title and run with it.
#1 – A party trick of mine is to lift my eyelids and roll my eyes so only the whites are shown. Yes, I’m special and uniquely me. I can be hired to scare young children in exchange for a bottle of wine.
#2 – I used to be in Dolly Parton’s fan club and dreamed as a kid to visit Dollywood. Alas, that dream never came true. I actually had a single ticket—yep, legit I was going by myself— to her concert in Australia a few years ago. I ended up having to sell the ticket since I visited my parents who lived in the UK at the time. I still lay the guilt on thick to my parents at every opportunity, letting them know clearly how fabulous I am to have given up my Dolly experience.
#3 – I have twin toes. I want to add on my feet, but that (I hope) is pretty obvious so I won’t. I have nothing more to add.
#4 – I once, and to be clear BY COMPLETE ACCIDENT, microwaved a gecko. I legit felt ill when I realised. My son now takes great delight in calling me a compilation of names. The Gecko Destroyer being one of his favourites.
#5 – I have OCD when it comes to lining up drink glasses in our kitchen cupboard. But only with the glass tumblers. They have to be the same design in a row and in a neat line. When my kiddo is unloading the dishwasher, he takes delight in putting them in the “wrong” place.
#6 – I am a stickler for manners and common courtesy. I’m that person who shouts out “You’re welcome” when I hold a door open for someone or move to the side for them and they don’t say thank you.
#7 – I have a small obsession with mermaids. No story, no weirdness except for a fortysomething-year-old woman liking mermaids. Lol.
#8 – I don’t iron. I want to say ever, but sometimes, maybe once or twice a year, I have to dust off the iron to use it. About nine years ago we were in severe floods and lost almost everything. It took me a year to realise we no longer owned an ironing board.
#9 – Cutlery rubbing together goes through me. I shudder, and my mouth fills with saliva as though I’m going to barf. This loops us back to me being special.
#10 – I have milk-bottle-white skin. I look at the sun and it attacks me. Factor 50+ is my friend and lasts about 45 minutes. I sometimes scratch my head and wonder why I moved to Queensland, Australia.
I hope you made it to the end and can agree that your life is absolutely no better to have absorbed this joyous information about me.